Y'all ready to bust some ass?!?

In Many Public Schools, the Paddle Is No Relic
- NY Times

Aahhhaha Texas. Why do you always seem to be leading the charge against common sense and decency in North America? (I know, I know Colorado, you're up there too.)

Apparently, corporal punishment is back in style along with skinny pants and Samuel L. Jackson. I guess the fear of getting your ass slapped with a wooden pole must be pretty effective in stopping schoolchildren from knifing each other for dissin on Spongebob. It must not turn into something lewd and enjoyable until you get to university and pledge for a fraternity.

Judging from his picture (taken shortly after batting practice), Anthony Price, principal of Fort Worth middle school, really and truthfully loves his job. Picture him getting ready to beat your ass to a bloody pulp with that thick wooden stick. Dude must be in heaven. I wonder how many 'pops' you'd get for making fun of his tie? Tina Morgon definitely spoiled Mr. Price's day when she went Indian giver on her carte blanche clearance for continued beatdowns. I guess she'll have to put a "blisterin on (her son's) knucklehead" on her own time instead.

Apparently, the punishment for playing a game where you punch your friends to see who's tougher is being beaten about the buttocks with a paddle. Seems about right I guess, I mean Trav will never think of using violence to assert his superiority again, not after that stunning display of adult better-judgment.

But Mr. Price couldn't have gone right to the paddle, no siree Bob. Similar to Dante's Inferno, there are three other rungs on his ladder to hell. Poor Travis must have first endured a scathing verbal warning, followed by push-ups (not an easy task for a hefty fella like T-bone) and finally detentions and isolation. Then, and only then, would he get a choice of getting beaten or bringing his mommy to school with him for the day. I bet if he took the parental shadow route Mr. Price would be dealing with a new 'flinch' champion on the schoolyard in the form of Ms. Tina Morgan.

I can't help but wonder how her son could fall into the wrong crowd though. I mean he's obviously coming from a safe and intellectually rich household... she's a single mother working on a highway crew in rural North Carolina. I'm pretty sure that in Texas, that's one step below governor.

Truth-be-told, I think the only time I've even heard of paddling was in that movie Dazed and Confused, which oddly enough also takes place in Texas. That says a lot about the media's portrayal of violence though; from what I could tell, Ben Affleck (bless his no-talent heart) made it look like a righteous time for all involved. Maybe if Mr. Price took Travis under his wing and taught him how to pick up highschool sophomores while feeding him beers from the trunk of his 70's muscle car, he could have avoided the entire snafu in the first place.