Trouble in Paradise?

Baghdad robbers grab $1m in cash and Soldiers jailed over gun charges
- BBC News

Finally some news that says democracy and the western lifestyle are actually beginning to take hold in Iraq. For the longest time I have been fraught with anxiety that they're just spinning their wheels over there. How could the Iraqi people not see that our way was so obviously superior any sooner? We have free speech, free will and even free guns and money, so long as you're willing to steal them. What do they have? Apparently a diverse range of 'replica' firearms and bank security that predates the O.K. Corral.

Aside from all the other bad news, the first article really made me smile. Those cunning Iraqis have finally gleaned enough chicanery from the occupying force to make the whole ordeal work in their favour. A few sagacious insurgents lifted $1 million from an Iraqi bank by dressing in the wolf's clothing and walking in like they were searching for the second joker in the deck of terror. But, like so many of their Western counterparts, they didn't take the time to figure out how to best blow their booty.

What exactly does an Iraqi insurgent do with a million dollars in hard currency anyways? All of the strip clubs are bunkers, the casino is a base of operations and the movie theaters are still showing the ephemeral blockbusters of the late 90's like True Lies and Three Kings. I guess your only option is to bury it in the same hole they found Saddam and wait until the first McDonald's opens on Condoleezza Blvd. just off the Jeb Bush Expressway.

The second article should serve as a reference for the Interim Government on how Iraq can best develop their emerging export industry. Now that every oil patch is a new US state, Iraq has lost their primary bargaining chip in the international economy and, until sand futures show some growth, all they're left with are "dropped once, never fired" guns and thousands of Humvee chassis pre-equipped with speed holes.

I'm amazed at the apparent ease those soldiers had in rejigging replica guns to fire live rounds. I'm currently going through the toy chest from my youth looking for similar candidates. So far I've rigged a cap gun to shoot elastic bands and one of those muskets from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride to shoot bottle rockets. I'm calling Germany tomorrow to see if they're interested.