Best idea ever...
Students Trained to Fight School Shooters
- AOL News
Seriously... what took so fucking LONG? How can you call yourself an American teen and not be prepared to jump some dude with a gat in the middle of trig class? I'd be training like Rocky every night on the off-chance that some gun-wielding psycho stormed my high school. Hell I'd bring my own gun into school just in case. Ev
en if it meant I became that psycho. And if anyone got in my face about it... well hell... that's how it happens i guess.
I wonder if, in those instructional video tapes, there are any realistic portrayals of students dying while trying to fight back. It's pretty easy to get a sixth grader pumped about fighting by showing him a video... hell he's probably going to just go home and watch UFC anyways. It's a completely different story when you explain to him that he could fall under the 'collateral damage' heading in the acceptable loss category.
I'm betting the biggest silent partner in this affair is the US Armed Forces. I mean aren't they basically just prepping kids to join the army at an early age? They should have them recite the Ranger's Creed or a few lines from Saving Private Ryan each morning in addition to pledging allegiance and the saying the Lord's prayer. This will do wonders for the teachers' ability to control their students too. Imagine how quickly little Bobby would stop pulling Suzie's hair when he's staring down the barrel of a teacher-issued shotgun.
"If you have got 15 sixth, seventh and eighth graders, they can be an incredibly effective weapon." - This statement basically sums up my issue with this dude's plan. Do you even listen to yourself when you speak? How the FUCK can he possibly say that he's got a lot of support from parents? He's training a child-army for God's sake... and he's doing it for as little as 15 bucks a kid. Once they hit grade 9, Texas can send them all to Iraq. The US will probably be pretty low on troops by then. What self-respecting parent would go along with this? What happened to running AWAY
from crazy people with guns? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO PEOPLE IN TEXAS?!
He even admits at the end that the first kid to rush the gunman will probably die. He backs up his statement by saying: "he won't be able to shoot the fourth, fifth, eighth, twentieth or thirtieth student." Ok, sure. But if he has an automatic rifle, he'll probably be able to pick off the third, seventh, nineteenth and twenty-second with no trouble.
What I propose is this: For 15 bucks a kid, I'll fly down to Texas and teach all of those kids how to:
- AOL News
Seriously... what took so fucking LONG? How can you call yourself an American teen and not be prepared to jump some dude with a gat in the middle of trig class? I'd be training like Rocky every night on the off-chance that some gun-wielding psycho stormed my high school. Hell I'd bring my own gun into school just in case. Ev
en if it meant I became that psycho. And if anyone got in my face about it... well hell... that's how it happens i guess.I wonder if, in those instructional video tapes, there are any realistic portrayals of students dying while trying to fight back. It's pretty easy to get a sixth grader pumped about fighting by showing him a video... hell he's probably going to just go home and watch UFC anyways. It's a completely different story when you explain to him that he could fall under the 'collateral damage' heading in the acceptable loss category.
I'm betting the biggest silent partner in this affair is the US Armed Forces. I mean aren't they basically just prepping kids to join the army at an early age? They should have them recite the Ranger's Creed or a few lines from Saving Private Ryan each morning in addition to pledging allegiance and the saying the Lord's prayer. This will do wonders for the teachers' ability to control their students too. Imagine how quickly little Bobby would stop pulling Suzie's hair when he's staring down the barrel of a teacher-issued shotgun.
"If you have got 15 sixth, seventh and eighth graders, they can be an incredibly effective weapon." - This statement basically sums up my issue with this dude's plan. Do you even listen to yourself when you speak? How the FUCK can he possibly say that he's got a lot of support from parents? He's training a child-army for God's sake... and he's doing it for as little as 15 bucks a kid. Once they hit grade 9, Texas can send them all to Iraq. The US will probably be pretty low on troops by then. What self-respecting parent would go along with this? What happened to running AWAY
from crazy people with guns? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO PEOPLE IN TEXAS?!He even admits at the end that the first kid to rush the gunman will probably die. He backs up his statement by saying: "he won't be able to shoot the fourth, fifth, eighth, twentieth or thirtieth student." Ok, sure. But if he has an automatic rifle, he'll probably be able to pick off the third, seventh, nineteenth and twenty-second with no trouble.
What I propose is this: For 15 bucks a kid, I'll fly down to Texas and teach all of those kids how to:
- accurately assess a crazy gunman situation;
- determine where exactly he is in the school... and
- RUN THE OTHER FUCKING WAY.
Labels: destruction of the human race, guns, school shooting
posted by brn at 11:30
3 Comments:
wow you're funny and offensive and right. :)
It's funny how we're thinking now about children as enemies instead of children as victims. Our kids are aliens that we can't trust and can't understand and they will turn against us and kill us all and all that we love any chance they get. ahh! More fear.
Ahhh ahahhahhahahhahha Brown I am so happy you have a blog. This was brilliant. Keep it up and I might be less upset about the Daily Dump ending its run-you'll be my comedic relief!
High praise from upon high! Very much appreciated Paigerino, I think you're the cat's ass too.
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